thursday

tonight is good for...
driving with all the windows down and an open sunroof and turning the music loud

listening to new music that i already love (because it reminds me of the music to a show whose love runs deep)

watching a show, snuggled up with my man and the baby

spending an inordinate amount of time trying to make a tiny boy smile and being rewarded with the drooliest grins and world's cutest dimples

reading a chapter or two in a book by a favorite author

dreaming of our ten year anniversary trip and being thankful that we booked our tickets today

believing that God is not surprised by any news that comes our way

sleeping with the windows open and breezes blowing

remembering what He has done in us, for us and through us

feeding him one last bottle before sleep

kissing my loves goodnight

Haven and E: 6 years and 6 weeks

Do you know how awesome it is to have your best friend be an amazing photographer who is always happy to take pictures of your family? Well, I do!!  And I'm so thankful for each of the grins, smiles and wrinkled brows that she captured for us recently.  We'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking.

 this one is my favorite i think...just captures my girl so perfectly!

 these two girls...love them both so much and they sure love each other!

And here are a few of our sweet little man.  Can't show you his face, but you can still appreciate his cuteness!

Many thanks to Amber for blessing us with her talents!

Still here

 My six year old and her pancake cake

Well, that turned in to quite the hiatus, didn't it?  Totally not planned, but then nothing in my life feels like it is these days!  We're still here, plugging along. We've been sick (who hasn't?!!) and traveled and are trying to navigate our way through the foster care system (that's a whole other post that will probably never get written!).  I honestly can't believe it is March and that the two day old who showed up on my doorstep is now two months old!  We're still trying to figure out life with three kids, homeschooling, ministry opportunities, and general life responsibilities. So here's a few pictures to bring you up to speed and we'll consider ourselves caught up, okay?

This is what my kids do to themselves when I'm otherwise occupied

 Heart shaped pizza for Valentine's Day with heart shaped pepperoni- a big hit!

 Haven and Cale ready to hit the slopes for a day of skiing

 Mati's first trip to the dentist- he did so well!

Three babes in a bed for a morning snuggle

I'll be back soon...promise!!  

Haven = Six

Haven,
Six years old?  Who told you that you were allowed to keep getting older?!  I can not believe that my beautiful girl is six!  I love you so much and am so thankful that I've got a front row seat to the amazingness of you!  It has been a big year, this 5...the most important thing being that you believed in Jesus as your Savior and asked Him to be Lord of your life!  It was a decision that you didn't take lightly and, like everything, you did in your own time when you were ready.

Haven's baptism- December 28, 2011

 I have loved to see your desire to do what pleases God and to know His Word.  He has given you a heart that longs for what's right and that deeply loves other people.  I've been humbled and amazed at your generosity this year and your willingness to follow through with even the simplest of ideas to help other people.  You are a born helper- big or small, you truly have a helpful spirit and that has been especially needed in the last month as our family has grown.  You are such a little mama to E and it makes me smile to see you trying to care for him in the same ways that I do.

You are the best big sister and take seriously (sometimes a little too seriously) your job; Mati and E are blessed to have you love them so much!  You love hard and good and long and feel it all deeply.  You get that from me and my first inclination is to tell you I'm sorry because loving that way gets you hurt, but I really wouldn't want you any other way.  Loving people well is part of who you are.

You are a crazy voracious reader!  Nine times out of ten if I can't find you, you are off reading somewhere. You love school and learning and workbooks and going to CC.  You have easily transitioned into school this year and I love being there at the moment when an idea finally clicks for you.  You love to be creative and do art projects.  This year found you slightly obsessed with perler beads, but God even used those to teach us some lessons and help others.  You discovered a love for audio books and that's how you usually pass part of an afternoon.  Listening to a story while you craft is maybe your perfect way to spend a quiet time.

You are funny and crazy and love to be wild. You love a good wrestling match and to sit and cuddle.  You love Indian food, ice cream and apples.  You like to dig in the dirt and get your nails painted.  You love to play games, help in the kitchen and boss people around (again-you get that from me and I'm sorry!).  You love to color and paint and help weed the flowerbeds.  You love a good bike ride, campfires and trips to the library.  You love adoption, helping other kids and playing computer games.  You are a beautiful combination  of so many good things.  

God has great plans for you in being six years old.  New challenges, lessons to learn, places to go...but I'll be right there with you.  I'm your biggest fan, Haven and know that you will face it all with a brave smile and a willing heart.  You are my BEST GIRL!

love,
Mommy

Created for Care

view from our room Sunday morning

Last weekend I had the privilege of spending my weekend with 400+ adoptive moms at the Created for Care Retreat in Georgia.  Thankfully, for so many reasons, one of those 400 moms was Amber.  I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from the weekend, but I knew I was supposed to go.  It was an amazing weekend full of incredible teaching, worship and intense time spent with the Lord.  I met some new heroes like Susan Hillis and Beth Templeton and decided I want to be like them when I grow up.  I was encouraged and equipped in parenting all my children, and not with trite ideas or strategies, but with the Word and Its power.  A few of the stand-outs...

-Bad days do not change who I am...and I am F(ragrant) R(eflection) E(ternity) E(verywhere)

-By faith Abraham: obeyed, moved on, received power, offered up...look forward to what God's doing in your child; do not look back and make their identity about what happened to them in the past

-Make our waiting Spanish!  Esperar- to wait, to hope....make our waiting hoping

-The world sees orphans, Jesus sees disciples

-"I am the mom who Jesus loves"...believe it, live it!  Freedom, empowerment and intimacy come when I live in the reality of who I really am.

-The revelation of my child's identity in Christ transforms my parenting.  I need to pour into that- to call forth the treasure of Christ that is within.

-An orphan is defined by what's missing.  A son or daughter is defined by relationship.

-I can not afford to have thoughts in my head about myself (or my child) that God doesn't have about me.

-The facts will change, but the truth never does.  I need to give them language about the truth of who they are.

I realize this might not make much sense to anyone else, but that's okay.  It means a lot to me and I'm still processing through the impact it will have on my parenting.  I feel like I've been given a run for my money this week on parenting, let alone making any lasting changes.  But it is a process and one bad day or week or, heck, even bad month, will not define us!  The bottom line for me this weekend was to know the truth and speak it into my kids' lives; the truth about who they are, who God is, and doing all I can to point them to Him to find their identity.  We left their believing that "Not one, not one, not one of our children will fall away from Me.  They will all know know my heart."  I am standing on that promise!!

Two days old

Wednesday, January 4: I was talking to my mom on the phone and it beeped that another call was coming through. I looked down and saw the numbers 562 and immediately knew who it was and what they wanted.  I quickly said goodbye and then hello.  There was no small talk.  Just some basic information relayed while she awaited my answer.  I knew the answer was yes, but called Cale to make sure.  And just like that, life shifted.  A phone call bearing news of a two day old little boy who needed a place to be loved and protected and care for.  And that place was with us.  

Shall I back up and fill you in a little bit?  It's a long God-filled story, but I'm going to give you the Cliff Note version.  Last April, having already known that it was God's plan for our family to grow through adoption, He began to shift that vision to something we'd never considered: foster care.  Dun, dun, duh. And that's totally how we felt about it.  Not something we'd ever considered, but He had.  So a few short weeks later, after some praying and crying and peace overflowing, we signed up for Foster Care classes through our county. It took til the end of September for our home study to be approved, but when it was done we were officially licensed Foster Parents.  And then we waited.  

And we waited some more.  We were well aware that it is a good problem to not have children come into the Foster Care system, but at the same time were so ready to see who God would bring to our family, for how ever long.  And a week and a half ago that waiting and wondering came to an end.  He brought us the sweetest little guy, E, who has turned our family upside down in the best possible way.  We have no idea how long he will be with us, but we are all resolved to love him well everyday that he's here.  I don't know what the Lord is going to do in E's life or in our family, but I know it will be good.  And for today I'm going to soak up some newborn love and every little squeak and wriggle!

My 2011 Book Awards

I love to read.  I can still remember the first story I read in my first grade reader.  It was called "A Fish Out of Water" and I was so proud of myself to have read it through with no help.  Once I could read, I never stopped.  My physical location has never limited me...the library aboard the SS Anastasis kept me sane during my Discipleship Training School in Western Africa.  And my husband didn't even bat an eye when I needed practically a whole suitcase for books when we moved to Namibia.  He knows I need them!

I go through an ebb and flow with reading.  Sometimes I'll read 2 books in a week and then go a few without reading any.  Depends on how busy life is and if I have any room in my brain to add to.  I've never kept track of the books I read, but decided to in 2011.  I was interested to know how many I actually read in a year and I was completely surprised by the number.  I read 47 books in 2011.  Some were great, some were challenging and some were just an easy read to escape with.  If reading more is on your list of goals for the New Year, here's a few of my favorites  from last year.

Hands down, the best book I read is Somewhere More Holy by Tony Woodlief. I wrote about it here already, and I can still say it is a beautiful testament to God making beauty from ashes and filling our lives, every room of them, with His goodness. I still think of this book on a weekly basis and plan to read it again this year.

I discovered a new author that writes "Christian fiction" (FYI- I don't like that term!) that isn't brain numbingly bad.  There are good ones out there and she is one of them- Sally John.  She's written several and a few different series and I've really enjoyed them all.  Some are better then others, but overall engaging characters and stories that ultimately honor God.  I think I read 8 of her books last year if that tells you anything!

Belong to Me by Maria de los Santos was a beautiful follow-up to the author's debut novel (Love Walked In) which I read in 2010.  The second book was even better then the first.  Warning: this does have some explicit language which I'm usually very careful about, but didn't find it overly offensive in context.  Wonderfully written with characters you will be sad to leave.  I just requested her newest one from the library and can't wait to read it.

One of my top five books of all time was revisted this year, Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. It was as beautiful and gut-wrenching as I remembered it to be.  I think it says a lot about a book that on my third time through, I was still moved to tears at times and laughed aloud at others.  If you haven't read this book...do yourself a favor and read it this year. It contains some of the most perfect sentences you'll ever read.

And here's a few honorable mentions that I really enjoyed, in no particular order.  The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society..drug my heels on this one because everyone kept saying how good it was.  They were not lying; especially enjoyable if you like historical fiction set in WW II.  This book, Before I Go to Sleep  by SJ Watson is so not my usual style, but I ended up really enjoying it.  Kinda freaky, but good! One of my first books of 2011 was Little Bee by Chris Cleave.  Difficult and heart-breaking to read, but also can't turn the pages fast enough.

My only goal in regards to reading in this new year is to beef up my non-fiction list.  I love to collect non-fiction and slowly read them.  It's time to dust off that stack and get busy.  I aim to read at least 2 non-fiction each month.  As for the rest, I'm open to suggestions.  Read any good books lately?