We have company coming today. Kristen and I have been friends since I was seven years old. We go waaaaay back! She and her husband, Chris, haven't been down here to visit us in several years so we are really looking forward to showing them all the remodeling we've done in our house and just sharing our life with them.
As I have been running around cleaning, shopping, doing food prep, etc., I started to think about hospitality. Both Cale and I believe that our home is meant to be shared and really enjoy having people come for a dinner or an overnight. I always try to do as much as I can ahead of time so that I can just sit and enjoy time with our company. I usually spend the hours before some one's coming running around like a madwoman driving myself and Cale crazy. I have definitely gotten better at this as I have learned how to better run our home, but there is still that mad dash.
Thinking about it today, I think there will always be that crazy time right before someone comes over, but I think that I realized something about myself today. Part of my motivation for doing all that I do is not to make people feel welcome and at home. I really want to impress people with how well I do it. I don't serve with a selfless heart. Part of me wants to be praised and to be admired for how well organized I am and how great the food is.
I don't like seeing this in my heart, but I am not surprised. The selfishness of my heart is nothing new to me. It's not a new battle, but seeing it manifested in this way does take me aback. Up until now I have always enjoyed the planning, the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning that it takes to entertain people for a weekend. And I don't think the enjoyment will change, I just pray that my motivation for doing it does.