Sunday, February 3, 2008

Ready or not, she's two

Today my baby girl turns two. It's hard to believe that it's only been two years since she joined our family because I honestly can't remember life without her in it. I don't recall a time when I wasn't her mama. I knew that having a baby was going to change my life and in many respects I thought I was prepared.

I wasn't.

I wasn't ready to feel the love that overwhelmed me when I first saw her little face. I wasn't ready to feel like part of my heart is stuck outside my body. I wasn't ready to care so much about another person's eating and sleeping and pooping schedule. I didn't know that her smile and laugh would delight me so much. I didn't know that someone sleeping peacefully could be so enthralling. I didn't know how impatient I was. Or how selfish (I thought I had learned enough of this in over three years of marriage, but oh, how wrong I was!) I didn't comprehend the weight of responsibility I would feel for her.

I didn't know her. I didn't know who she would be or how she would act. And while I still don't know all that the future holds for her, I know her. I know a sassy little toddler who loves to be silly and make you laugh. I know an intelligent girl with a hunger for knowledge and a desire to figure things out. I know a compassionate child who is always trying to help and cares about the well being of others.

Haven truly is the light of my life and the joy of my heart. (She is also the exasperator of my mind and the wearing of my patience, but we are focusing on the good stuff today!) I am thankful beyond words that God saw fit to allow me to be this girl's mom. I pray that I am worthy of this high calling. I look to the future with great anticipation as God molds and shapes her little heart and draws her to His side. May I not get in the way of His work, but be used to direct and guide her in the way that she should go.

Happy Birthday, Haven!

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