My brain has been on overload. I feel like I have too much to think about and not enough time to do it. That's why I found myself awake at 4:45am and unable to go back to sleep. The minute my eyes opened my brain kicked into gear and hasn't stopped yet. I decided that if I couldn't sleep I might as well be productive so I got up and exercised while it was still dark out. I then sat down with my Bible and my whirring head and tried to pray. It wasn't working so I decided to do some reading. I went with the super accurate, very biblical approach of just opening my Bible and reading there. I knew that I needed to get into the Word, I just hadn't a clue where at the specific moment so it seemed like a good idea.
And you know what, it was. Whether you agree with the approach or not (and I'm certainly not advocating it as a general way to approach Bible study) the Lord knew what I needed and met me right there in Psalm 37. I needed to be encouraged to delight myself in the Lord, to not fret, to trust in the Lord and do good and to be still before the Lord. In the midst of the chaos that was my mind, this was a heady passage to read. I can't imagine a better way to have started my day then by clearing my mind as I focused on delighting in Him, not mulling over things (read: fretting) that were beyond my reach. Yes, there is still a lot that I'm processing, but Jesus helped me to focus on Him first. The processing has continued throughout the day, but is going through the filter of Him.
The early morning wake up time was further redeemed by a sleeping child that allowed Cale and I to have a great conversation and prayer together before he left for work. That never happens and we might need to do something differently so that it does! I was able to share with Cale some of the things weighing me down and to be encouraged by the godly counsel of my husband and prayers offered on my behalf.
While I really would like to get a better night's sleep tonight (really tomorrow morning) if the Lord needs to get me out of bed at dark-thirty to speak to me like He did today, then sign me up!